Thanks Michelle for this question, because it is a really good one!
How can I let the child that I have loved go back into a home that I know is not the best?
We have had to do this many times. The first (and the hardest) time we had to do this was with our 2nd foster child. We received him when he was 3 months old. He never had a visit with any family members. After he was with us a year, we just figured that he was our son. We loved him with our whole hearts!!! Once they informed the birth mother ( I really do not know how they ever found her), she begged the grandmother to take him. At that time we had him 18 months and the agency had told us our adoption should be completed by Christmas (this was September). Needless to say the grandmother ended up getting him. She was 74 years old and he was just under 2 (22 months old). When we met her she told us how one of her sons killed his brother (another one of her sons) in her house. She also told us that everyone of her children had grown up to be drug dealers. Oh my goodness!!!! This was the person the agency chose to raise MY son??? I was heart broken and spent a lot of time in prayer. This is when I learned that prayer is VERY powerful. I may have no control of the natural, but I can pray. I do everyday!!! This little boy just turned 16 in December and I pray for him all the time. I know that God will keep him safe and that I will see him again!
Now with this case the major problem was I DID NOT KNOW MICHIGAN LAW!!! I would say that if you are interested in foster care–before you begin–read your states laws! Michigan law states that family only has 6 MONTHS to come forward. If they do not then they loose the right to that child. Now I know for a fact that NOT all foster agencies in Michigan obey this law! You MUST know your rights and stand up for them!! Be prepared for some agencies to fight you on this. This is another reason to really investigate the agency you are interested in. In Michigan it is some of the private agencies that do not think that they have to obey the law. Our agency even said that they will lie to a judge about the foster family to prevent the foster family from getting the child. I do not want to scare you, but like any agencies you have the good and the bad. People do know who the bad ones are so ask around.
Now this story may have sounded horrible but there was one WONDERFUL thing that happened because of all this! We left domestic adoption and went to VN. And as you all know our first child is from VN!
Foster Care is WONDERFUL–I really do not want to scare anyone away from it. I am the type of person, though, that wants to know the good and the bad. I do not want to say that it is so easy and that you will not have ANY problems–because that would not be true. I can say that you will be SO BLESSED by doing it!!!
GOD BLESS~~
